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broughttoyoubytheletterq:

theleeryone:

broughttoyoubytheletterq:

what do you call a dictionary on drugs

If you say addictionary I swear to fucking god I will cut you

I was gonna say ‘high definition’ but yours is better

barnabasdeimos:

And even if I was a mind reader, I’d still want you to vocalize it so you can get past it. Also so I can revel in your suffering. 

iseeavoice:

therainbowgorilla:

qalaba:

iseeavoice:

A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”


Vampire: “The fair is in town, maybe a date will help…”

human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors

#AREYOUSERIOUS

WE HAVE A NEW WINNER.

herbshuttle:

sparklegenocide:

Oh you

biggest fuck you ever 

herbshuttle:

sparklegenocide:

Oh you

biggest fuck you ever 

mmue11er:

brianimagines:

"You’re much stronger than you think you are."

Stronger than a locomotive, faster than a speeding bullet, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but it’s the little things that really make Superman the greatest hero.

mmue11er:

brianimagines:

"You’re much stronger than you think you are."

Stronger than a locomotive, faster than a speeding bullet, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but it’s the little things that really make Superman the greatest hero.

vbartilucci:

themightyrarebreed:

mmue11er:

Super selfies

Selfies. Selfies everywhere

I defy someone to re-draw the cover of The Killing Joke as a selfie.

digivice:

eruri - past & present

cheesecakelama:

opidiod:

wellversedinetiquettte:

What the fuck is wrong with this website

absolutely nothing

Its flawless

cheesecakelama:

opidiod:

wellversedinetiquettte:

What the fuck is wrong with this website

absolutely nothing

Its flawless

saddestblogger:

ah yes, tumblr drama. it reminds me of the hunt

image

aliveontuesday:

the-chubby-nerd:

Story time:
While taking put the trash at work, I kicked this little bag of pennies. Obviously, since I’m poor, a grabbed them and threw them in my pocket before going on with the rest of my shift.
Close to the end of my shift, I remembered this bag of pennies, so I took it out and counted it out. 7 cents.
My coworker came up and started talking to me while I was doing this, so we chatted, the entire time, this tiny bag of pennies in my hand.
Meanwhile, one of my managers sees me and my coworker talking over this bag, immediately thinks that it’s drugs, yells, and grabs both of us and drags us to the back room.
So, we’re sitting there, me clutching this bag of pennies in my fist, while my manager gets my GM on the phone, yelling about how we were “trading drugs during our shift” and “endangering ourselves and other in the workplace.”
Within 10 minutes, my GM was there, papers in hand to terminate our employment, talking about how they should call the cops. I started crying, cause they wouldn’t let me get a word in edge-wise, my coworker was actually texting his dad the entire time, trying to get them to come fight for him.
It wasn’t until the GM asked what drug they were that they finally let me talk.
So, while I was sobbing, I opened my hand and dropped the bag in my manager’s hand.
And he bursts out laughing.
Within seconds I had explained everything, the pennies, the situation, everything.
I almost got fired and arrested over 7 pennies.

Your manager is a piece of shit.

aliveontuesday:

the-chubby-nerd:

Story time:

While taking put the trash at work, I kicked this little bag of pennies. Obviously, since I’m poor, a grabbed them and threw them in my pocket before going on with the rest of my shift.

Close to the end of my shift, I remembered this bag of pennies, so I took it out and counted it out. 7 cents.

My coworker came up and started talking to me while I was doing this, so we chatted, the entire time, this tiny bag of pennies in my hand.

Meanwhile, one of my managers sees me and my coworker talking over this bag, immediately thinks that it’s drugs, yells, and grabs both of us and drags us to the back room.

So, we’re sitting there, me clutching this bag of pennies in my fist, while my manager gets my GM on the phone, yelling about how we were “trading drugs during our shift” and “endangering ourselves and other in the workplace.”

Within 10 minutes, my GM was there, papers in hand to terminate our employment, talking about how they should call the cops. I started crying, cause they wouldn’t let me get a word in edge-wise, my coworker was actually texting his dad the entire time, trying to get them to come fight for him.

It wasn’t until the GM asked what drug they were that they finally let me talk.

So, while I was sobbing, I opened my hand and dropped the bag in my manager’s hand.

And he bursts out laughing.

Within seconds I had explained everything, the pennies, the situation, everything.

I almost got fired and arrested over 7 pennies.

Your manager is a piece of shit.